Wednesday, September 27, 2006

And when the dam bursts we'll all float back to from whence we came.

Ok, I usually avoid the news during election years, but the other day I stumbled across more evidence that New York City and its denizens are not of this earth. Yeah, crazy. I suppose that after you make it illegal to smoke in bars (Earth to New York and its wannabes: they're BARS!), this was the next logical step. The only thing left for them to do is to have social workers sitting in bathrooms to make sure we wipe our arses and wash our hands (Incidentally, this is what my girlfriend does for a living, heh heh). I don't think this will really go through this time around (wait a few years), but all the same I'd check the campaign funds of NYC politicians for money soaked in Canola oil, or whatever is you substitute for hydrogenated oils. On the other hand, I might be too cynical. Maybe they're not actually trying to grease their palms with campaign funds and they're not actually insane. Of course, the only option that leaves is that they're just trying to prepare the way for the mother ship. I'm pretty sure that I don't want some politician on a mission telling me what they think I should be eating. All I have to say is that they can have my fragel... when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers! By the way, it has come to my attention that not everybody knows what a fragel is, or why it is the best thing ever invented by man. All I can say is that if it's been more than a week since you last had a fragel, go get one.
In other news, I'm afraid we have seen the public disgrace of yet another once-beloved hero of our childhood. I'm never surprised to see another very unflattering photo a messy-haired movie star or athelete with a cocaine mustache staring at me from the cover of a tabloid in the supermarket checkout isle with some headline about spousal abuse while driving while under the influence of drugs, but I expected better than this from Paddington. Where did you go so wrong, old friend? Anyways, that's all for now. I don't want to overwhelm you with the lack of paragraph breaks and the overabundance of Links. Ok, I'm sorry about that one. If you don't get that joke, I have more respect for you than I have for myself.

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

was that zelda? just curious, and I'm not sure if I got it, so therefore unsure of whether I have your respect and suddenly feeling very fragile...