Tuesday, February 07, 2006

An Inquiry Into The Nature and Causes of The Sloppy José

"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining," as a certain professor of mine is fond of saying. By the same token, don't give me sloppy joe meat in a flour tortilla and try to tell me that I'm eating a taco. Unfortunately, that's exactly what they do at the cafeteria which circumstances more or less beyond my control force me to seek "nourishment" from. The good news is that no food consumed there is likely to remain in my body for any more than half an hour, so its immediate adverse effects tend to be short lived. The long-term effects are harder to guage, but include a significant loss of faith in mankind, as well as a propensity to starve one's self rather than subject one's intestines to another barrage. To think I used to complain about the food at home. To think that I was home-schooled, only to be subjected to cafeteria trash as a college student. Dear heavens, what did I do wrong? There is something rotten in the state of Michigan, indeed.
The weekend was fun, I went up to visit Lindsey for Saturday and Sunday, hopefully without being too much of a bother to her. Linds was a great hostess, and even cooked--twice! She never ceases to amaze. She did however point out the font Copperplate everywhere she saw it over the weekend (on 20+ distinct products, nonetheless), which was really pretty funny until I started noticing it too. It now may drive me insane. I'm really not the kind of guy who notices fonts much (except MS Comic Sans, whoever uses that will be first against the wall when the revolution comes), so hopefully the madness will be short-lived.
The superbowl was about the same as it always is, funny how the ultimate championship in pro football is seldom the most interesting game to watch. It wasn't bad, but there was nothing to imply that it was any kind of clash of titans, as they say. It's also the one time of the year that we actually eagerly await the commercial breaks. Funny how that works. For the record, "brown and bubbly" is the worst slogan for a diet cola in the history of the world. Sure, diet pepsi is in fact brown and bubbly, but so are a variety of other things that one really doesn't want associated with one's product. Things like poop. There, I said it. Poop. Come to think of it, "brown and bubbly" would be a pretty effective slogan for a sewage hauler. It's humorous, and what can you do to distinguish yourself from other sewage haulers? That's right, make poop jokes. Actually, maybe they all do that already. But enough about sewage. So I was watching congress on CSPAN the other day...
Well, that's all for now. I'll try to update again in a few days, and hopefully by then your expectations will be lowered to the point of being amused. Have a good week!

7 comments:

jonathan said...

There is something rotten in the state of Michigan, indeed.

Yeah, and it's in the Saga salad bar.

By the way, I loved your post.

Maggie&Suzie said...

good post, as always. sounds like a blast there in hillsdale, esp at the caf - yuck. not liking sloppy joe's much anyway, taco joe's sound gross. or sloppy tacos, or whatever you call them :) nonetheless, you eating any less than you already do is unacceptable, you skinny runt. (yes, i'm jealous).
as for your sewage jokes, i'm dying over here man. you must be a true cousino to be making sewage hauling jokes.. heh heh heh. ya know, there are people on this planet that don't even know those people exist and certainly would never think them commonplace enough to discuss... us on the other hand, years of inappropriate dinner conversations involving sewers, wastewater treatment, and other such delectable topics have clearly impacted us more than we thought. :D love ya!

D.Cous. said...

I beleive that the term you're looking for is "Sloppy José." What? You mean normal kids grew up not knowing about the finer points of sewage processing? Maybe my blog's more educational than I thought.

Lindsey said...

Hmmm, I plead guilty to not knowing much about sewage treatment. But then, you didn't know Copperplate before last weekend. I'm still counting, up to 31 now. Regrettably, Tracy Chapman uses Copperplate Gothic Light. So sad. Maybe I'll have to take the liner notes out.

Sorry about the food, sounds like even I wouldn't enjoy it. I made macaroni and cheese last night and put my leftover little weenies into it. Delish.

Trent said...

sloppy jose, i like it

DaWheeze said...

Nice Donal, I have to confess I didn't think of that particular conotation of "brown and bubbly" when I saw the commercial but I see your point. Made me laugh, keep up the good work!

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