Tuesday, June 12, 2007

"She wrote upon it..."

Rather frequently at work we get mail for either the building's previous occupants or for someone who, to the best of my knowledge, has never lived or worked here. Consequently, a few times per week when I get the mail, I have to write "RETURN TO SENDER" across the front of one or two envelopes, and put them back into the mailbox. This is normal. I'm sure this happens to lots of people the world over every day. The trouble is that every single time I do this, I find that the Elvis Presley hit "Return to Sender" is stuck in my head for at least the next hour. Now, I love this song. It's a great song. But such frequent mental exposure to it is beginning to drive me a little batty. Even when I deliberately think of another catchy song while writing on the envelopes and re-depositing them in the mailbox, a few minutes later I'll catch myself humming

I gave a letter to the pooooooostman,
He put it in his sack
(Duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun - I also hum the bass line)
Bright and early next mooooooooornin'
He brought my letter back
(She wrote upon it)

RETURN TO SENDER!
ADDRESS UNKNOWN!
NO SUCH NUMBER!
NO SUCH ZONE!
WE HAD A QUARREL
A LOVER'S SPAT
I write I'm sorry, but my letter keeps coming back
(Duh dun duh dun duh dun duh dun....)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Somebody help me. Please.

4 comments:

jonathan said...

I have the same problem. Thanks to this post of yours I'm going to have to try as hard as I can not to sing that song to myself today.

D.Cous. said...

Bwahahahaha! The curse spreads!

John Lynch said...

Guys, I think I have the solution to your problem:

1) Find a local gym that plays music during workouts.
2) Attend this gym early each morning and pay special attention to the music they are playing.
3) If this music is generic pop off of a satellite music channel, you are in luck. Simply return to the gym everyday, and you will never have "Return To Sender" stuck in you head. Otherwise, return to step one.

Educated with money
He's well dressed not funny
And not much to say in most conversations
But he'll foot the bill in all situations
'cause he pays for everything

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny

Paper or plastic,
Don't matter she'll have it
Vacations and shopping sprees these are a few of her favorite things
She'll get what she wants if she's willing to please
His type of girl always comes with a fee
Hey now there's nothing for free

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny

And these girls like these boys, like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

Let's go!

Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funny
And these girls like these boys, like these boys like these girls
The girls with the bodies like boys with ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money

All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Are losing their souls in a material world
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Are losing their souls in a material world
All of these boys, yeah and all of these girls
Are losing their souls in a material world...


See! Don't you feel better already?

Gec said...

wow john, you take me back to a place I really never wanted to go again... thanks a whole friggin' lot.