"The benches were stained with tears and perspiration..."

Hey Reginald, guess what? Yup, you guessed it: I'm still alive. I'm also out of college. Weird. To provide the remaining requisite "loch ness monster sighting" evidence, I present the following photograph: If you look closely you'll see that it looks like I'm walking somewhat oddly and might be about to fall down the stairs. I'm actually not, or at least I don't think I am-I don't remember all that much of the actual walking down the stage part of the story. It wasn't the most interesting part, I probably skimmed through it like the musical numbers in movie musicals that don't have interesting musical numbers. The ceremony lasted three hours or so, and I spent most of the speech reading the names and majors of the rest of my graduating class, but it wasn't devoid of interestingness. For example, the guy at the far right in that picture (Dr. Mark Kalthof, I hope I spelled that correctly), who announced our names and degrees as we walked accross the stage to receive our fake diplomas (they say the real ones, like every check that was never received, are in the mail), actually pronounced my name correctly. On a loud speaker. With my family and friends there as witnesses. I was shocked. Maybe stunned. I don't know if I kept walking right away or not, but I suppose I did. I didn't actually notice the applause that I got at the time, but as I was shaking the president's hand he said "You've got a fan club out there," so I expect that I got a noticeable amount. Apparently I had a lot of people pulling for me out there, so thanks. Anyways, that's all for now. Stay tuned for grizzly tales of adapting to life after college for D.Cous.