Saturday, October 17, 2009

My Nemesis

Apparently, I have a nemesis. It's not the kind of relationship I thought I'd pick up by working part time at a café, but so it goes. Our first meeting was normal, I made her some milk/coffee/flavor combination and attempted to exchange pleasantries; the only somewhat unusual thing about her was that she didn't seem interested in making eye contact or smiling at me. Our second meeting was similar; she didn't speak to me except to order her coffee, she ordered the same thing, and I failed to make it correctly. I left out the vanilla flavoring, and her latte tasted like coffee. I don't habitually make this kind of mistake, and it is indeed about as bad a thing as one can do whilst supporting oneself as a barista. I was in the wrong, I screwed up, It was all my fault. Our third meeting shortly followed our second, and she was livid. Her eyes seemed to have doubled in proportion, and the pallor which had theretofore characterized her visage had vanished, leaving in its place the deepest crimson hue I'd yet seen across human features, and scarcely would have thought possible had I not beheld it myself. "Would you please put vanilla in this latte, like I asked you to before?" She seemed to be speaking in two voices at once, the first for the purpose of conveying information, the second merely for conveying the profundity of the contempt in which she held me. Trying my best to keep my composure under the intensity of her glare, I offered to re-make her the entire drink, but to no avail. I would happily have refunded her out of pocket, and considered it a small and entirely reasonable price to pay for the privilege of never seeing her again. It took ten minutes after she'd stormed out of the place before the sun started to shine back in through the windows, and I began to collect myself. I'm not used to being despised. I'd even thought to myself in my some of my more foolish and youthful states of mind that one day I should know that I'd done some good in the world if someone hated me for it. But this was over coffee. It's shameful, really. I've made an enemy out of someone, over coffee. This isn't how it was supposed to be at all. I know that I have indeed made an enemy of her, by the way, because the third meeting was not our last. Twice since then, she has walked into the café, noticed that it was me, vocalized her disgust (the most recent expression of recognition being "Oh, come on!"), and stormed out. Somewhere in the course of my life I've done something terribly wrong, such that my worst enemy was made was over a vanilla latte. It's all wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

9 comments:

Cecilia said...

When I worked in a coffee-shop a few years ago, I had a woman tell me that we were the only coffee-shop on earth that could make a latte The Right Way.
Then I had customers tell me that I was a failure at life because I couldn't make lattes Just Like Starbucks.

saracita said...

Oh yeah. My nemesis was "Double Blend Lady."

Lady is a term used loosely; usually a spicier term sufficed.

L. H. Lynch said...

During my brief foray as a barista, I do not have any recollection of ever making someone truly angry at me, although I may have once mildly annoyed someone for taking too long to make her drink. That said, yikes. This lady is scary.

Eric Lynch said...

Cous, I am greatly disappointed in your improper use of the word "nemesis." There is no underlying deep and philosophical disagreement between the two of you, nor would I expect you or she to put aside your enmity long enough to speak at the other's funeral. There is however, an open and abiding hatred here that clearly points to an "arch-enemy" relationship. I am saddened that I would have to cite sources on this topic with you of all people.

http://www.grendel.org/tsc/klosterman-enemies.htm

Lindsey said...

Oh man. That bitch is lucky that her "arch-enemy's" wife hasn't been in the shop when she's come in. Wow. I would happily have helped to ensure you never saw her again.

Lisa said...

Do not take it to heart. She is obviously someone who is angry and you are a safe victim to take it out on. She can despise and denigrate a stranger because there are folks way too close to her that she can't screw up the courage to address. And if this is the only style she has to deal with her displeasure, I am sure her life is full of failed relationships. If you can, take it with a smile, but she is more to be pitied than anything else.

D.Cous. said...

Wow, thank you all for the comments.

Eric, I was trying not to think of that piece, because of the pathetic nature of my antagonistic relationship. Like I said, it's all wrong.

Reenie said...

I have such a hard time imagining you being anyone's nemisis. I am intrigued - but I also agree with Mrs L's comments, that she's an angry person and is taking out on an (almost) innocent victim. But I do believe you will be able to win this one and make her love you - but for heaven's sake, don't forget the vanilla!!! :D

John Lynch said...

I always like hearing stories like this because it provides much needed perspective. Everyone reading this blog knows Donal, so we know that he's not a mean, lazy person. Thus, this lady seems to be a mean, hateful person. We don't know why this particular exchange rubbed her the wrong way, but we should probably all remember her the next time we feel like cursing at someone in traffic, yelling at a technical support representative, getting cross with a store clerk, or, yes, taking out frustration on a barista. It happens, and it probably happens for reasons that are entirely human and not at all malicious. Heck, for all we know, this lady has a blog where she complains about her lazy barista nemesis and all of her friends show up to console here that it isn't her fault.