Wednesday, July 02, 2008

And Just Like That, The World Ended

I probably shouldn't be blogging right now. I admit that my main (and originally only) reason for being at my computer right now is to buy child-sized bow ties for the ring bearers (three) in my upcoming wedding. The thing is, I got distracted. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm moving, and figured that it's better to just finish off that bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, rather than have to pack it and move it to my apartment. I know, I'm a freaking genius. Anyhoo, I flipped a few channels on telly to discover that Spike TV is currently airing the special edition (you know, the only one George Lucas will admit is extant) of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, also known over at the People's Republic of D.Cous. (which is the fictional country/blog your browser is currently displaying, for reasons unknown) as one of the finest films ever made. You're probably aware of my opinion of the special editions: The remastered sound and picture, not to mention the widescreen format, are an incredible improvement over previous VHS versions of the films available. The added digital effects? They have always been worse than the now 30-year-old special effects that used actual physical models, and now they also look worse than contemporary digital effects, which still look worse than the 30-year-old techniques utilized for the original films. Also added were a few moments of footage originally cut from the film, right before the rebels attack the Death Star, where Luke reconnects with his old pal, Biggs (you know, Biggs). It's actually pretty sad, since they're both so excited to be rebel pilots just like they've always dreamed of, and the final words spoken by Biggs before they board their respective X-Wings is "They'll never stop us!"

And then, ten minutes later, Biggs, while shouting the word "Wait!" gets killed by Darth Vader. So sad.

As I said, I got a little distracted. It was in this state of distraction (relax-I also found my initial query) that one of the blogs I sometimes read directed me to this video.

Holy freaking crap, am I right? I have to admit that this actually makes me feel sort of important, since I now know exactly when and how the world will end. I feel sort of like Chuck Heston in Planet of the Apes, realizing too late that mankind's inventiveness proved to be its undoing.

On September 26, 2008, it's gonna feel pretty *@#$%&*#* real to you too! Anyone not wearing two million sunblock is gonna have a really bad day, get it?

As an aside (as if I had a main thrust from which to deviate here), another possible sign of the coming apocalypse is the fact that my spell checker in Firefox did not flag the word "blogging" as any kind of mistake. Apparently, the popular abbreviation for "Nerdy World Wide Web of Information Superhighways Diary/Captain's Log" is now a verb in the English language.

I now believe that I have referenced so much popular science fiction in a single blog post that I have probably broken the Inter-webs. I apologize.

5 comments:

dsimmer.com said...

That movie trailer made me want Taco Bell real bad. Which would be a great corporate advertising tie-in, if you think about it.

John Lynch said...

Yeah. So.

I had to sit through that trailer in theaters. I was not happy when FJM linked to it.

On a related note, I too found myself strangely drawn to Spike TV Tuesday night. They were showing Episode 3, and while I couldn't watch all of it, I did get to see the single best scene from the prequels:

Obi-Wan: "Anakin's the father, isn't he?"
Padme: *sobbing*
Obi-Wan: "I'm so sorry."

*Obi-Wan exit scene right*

BAM!

John Lynch said...

Actually, I think it's really *Obi-wan exit scene left*, but whatever.

Cecilia said...

that movie makes me wish i'm not an american. i had to sit through it in theaters and at first i was like "oh this sounds like some kind of awesome epic movie about some south american coming to the U.S....where'd the freaking dog come from?"

die Amerikanerin said...

Chiwa-whaaaaat!?