Tuesday, October 30, 2007

By Request...

A while ago, someone, no doubt trying to get me to shut up about whatever it was I was going on about at the time, suggested that I do a post about Halloween, or as you may know it, er... Halloween. I guess I could also call it "All Hallows Eve," that sounds goode and olde timeye. In any case, as time is short, and I'm in desperate need of two whole posts after this one, and yet before midnight tomorrow (in order to lift some curse or something, I don't know. Work with me here), I'm going to give you, my devoted (and in most cases imaginary) readership a breakdown of the D.Cous.-Approved and Non-D.Cous.-Approved portions of this ridiculous holiday.
On the "Approved" side of the ledger, there's:
1. Candy
2. Costumes
3. Parties
4. Carving pumpkins
I would also mention Pumpkin Pie (note the ever-so-appropriate use of capital letters), except that I haven't had any yet. All of these things are pretty fun, and there isn't much about them that has anything to do with witches, ghouls, etc... I just finished carving up a pumpkin, which I had much fun with, and though I can't speak for the Linds, I think we both enjoyed the costume party we attended.
Now then, we move to the "Not-Approved" side of things... There's really a lot of material here, honestly too much for a post such as this, but the ones that jump out at me are as follows:
1.
Lawn decorations. Too easy? Yeah, probably. The lights, the inflatable cartoon characters dressed as monsters, the fake cobwebs on the bushes, the fake tombstones, the witches hanging from trees. Good grief. I actually love it when people go buck-wild with Christmas decorations, but since Halloween isn't really celebrating anything, it seems really lame to go out of your way to decorate your house.
2. Trick-or-Treating. I know what you're thinking. Why do I like costume parties and not trick-or-treating? Because costume parties don't involve invading someone else's privacy. I will admit that I never did trick-or-treat as a child, but I don't think that factors in too much. I don't like strangers coming to the door and asking me for stuff, even if they are dressed like Spider-Man. Costume parties have the added benefit of being somewhat like Masquerades, which as we all know, are cool.
3. Vandalism. A well-played prank against friends is kind of fun, as long as it's done right, whatever. Toilet paper all over a stranger's trees? Not so whatever.
4. Ghosts, witches and stuff.

That about does it for now, will post more soon. Peace.

9 comments:

Kate said...

Ah, D. You realize that by placing 'trick or treating' on the disapproved side of the list for the reasons you have you have marked yourself as a halloween grinch? Little kids in cute costumes are the highlight of halloween!

We haven't quite figured out what Gui is dressing as...last year he was a 'builder' and he would probably love to strap on his workbelt and grab his toolbox and do the same this year. Or we might get more creative. But we will certainly make the rounds of the closest couple of blocks - he's such a social kid, he'd love going door to door meeting our neighbors even without the candy.

And even though you don't approve, we'll still send you pictures. ;-)

die Amerikanerin said...

Andrea was going to have me make pumpkin pie, until she realized it was a dessert pie, not a savory one. That was a funny moment. I guess she doesn't usually think of vegetables as being used in sweet things, but we Americans have pumpkin pie, carrot cake, zucchini bread, etc. etc.

Also, I've gone trick-or-treating a few times with friends, and from what I can tell, there is usually a nifty secret code that allows people to identify which houses are open for trick-or-treating, and which or not. (Apparently it is sometimes as simple as whether or not the front porch light is on.) In such an instance, your main objection (invasion of privacy) would be removed, yes?

saracita said...

I think you've forgotten a major con for halloween, which is more irritating than lawn decorations. Living in a college town means that EVERY halloween ALMOST every girl rejects creativity and just dresses as some kind of themed prostitute.

I was a battered woman this year, which is far less offensive. ;)

D.Cous. said...

Good point, Sara. How could I have left out the sexy cat, sexy nurse, and sexy bunny rabbit costumes, not to mention my all-time favorite, the woman-dressed-as-a-pimp costume.

Laura, I was unaware of any "secret code," or hobo signs, or whatever one's supposed to do to solicit the trickers of treat, but I'm pretty sure I did none of these last year and yet still my door was knocked upon by a gang of young rascals in search of a sugar-high at my expense. I was helpless. I had to scramble around the house looking for whatever candy my sister might have around (I never buy the stuff), and then sent them on their way with some of last Christmas' candy canes. The worst part is that I FELT BAD for not having more candy to offer them, rather than THEM feeling bad for bothering me. Stupid Halloween.

Kate, little kids in costumes are cute, and I hope you do send the pictures of whatever you end up dressing Gui as. Just don't send him to my door.

E. W. Lynch said...

As an official disliker of Halloween, and almost all costumes (I would make an exception for particularly classy masquerades if David Bowe was in attendance) my Halloween plans consist of either making apple pie, which I will not give to anyone who just shows up at my door, or watching the epic, science-fiction-classic, silent-film, Metropolis.

I must find some way to stop Halloween from coming! ... But how?

Kate said...

Usually the secret halloween code consists of going to houses that have either decorations and/or lights on.

Here, the adults will sometimes go off to their adult halloween parties, leaving a large bowl of goodies on the front porch to assuage the appetites of local children and ward off the implicit threat in the phrase 'trick or treat'. Not really in the spirit somehow.

Keep the lights off and don't answer the doorbell...really, it's not that hard to avoid handing out treats if the thought offends you. ;-)

Cecilia said...

dude, you spelled "ghosts" wrong.

lauren says you need one more. you can do it!

John Lynch said...

Gosh darn it! The first thing I thought when I read this post was: "Why doesn't the Cous know how to spell the word 'ghost'"? Then I find that not only do the first six people not comment on this, but the seventh does, leaving me as the Johnny-come-lately who has to second the observation. What the hell, man?

D.Cous. said...

What can I say, John? For whatever reason, all of the commenters on this blog, if I had to guess, are possessed of a far higher IQ than its author. One must be quick on one's toes to be the first to correct The Cous in his comments section.